Ammu

A Photo I took at the neighbourhood government school. We caused a minor stampede. Everybody wanted their picture taken! The headmaster told us most of these children come from broken homes. They eat their only meals in the school that is in itself grossly undermaintained and underfunded. The headmaster Mr. Lukeman Durai and a teacher we met called Ms. Violet-something-Julie are very well spoken people. They've dedicated close to a decade of their lives to teach these kids, a significant percent of whom drop out at grade 8. Stories of inspiration like these are everywhere.

We were just leaving the area - Pannanthope colony in Ayanavaram - content with the information we had collected for our documentary, yet still missing that crucial component that would thread all the disparate bytes of visuals and voices. But that crucial component usually turns up during the last minute frenzy, or so I hoped.

A scrumptious lunch on our minds (a treat for our pampered selves, soiled by the interaction with poverty), we headed towards the bus stop. On our way we spotted a particularly miserable stretch of slum dwellings; a long compelling shot of that would be fantastic for the documentary, wouldn't it! So we took on our flipcam and began to do so. I was slinking around, trying in vain to look as inconspicuous as I could; taking photos of personal properties always makes me uncomfortable.

An old-ish woman carrying a naked infant seemed to have appeared from the depths of the slum. I went towards where she was hovering.

'Amma, if you know of any hostels then please let me know,' she said in Tamil.
'Enna?', I asked, handicapped by my shameful grasp of the language I ought to know.
'My daughter has gone missing and I have no idea where she is. We have filed a complaint many times. She's been gone since September. She was a grown girl. Now I have to take care of my three grandchildren,' she lamented, 'all girls,' she added with a sad smile.

By then my journalistic radar was ringing. I'd asked my friend to start recording, and the woman seemed to not be bothered.

'The children do not have a father. He was very abusive, beat her a lot. I do not know what to do with the children. We live off my younger daughter's meager pay.'

As taken in as I was with her tragic story, cruel pragmatism made me try to steer her conversation to the general state of her slum and what authorities had done about it; which was what we were supposed to uncover.

Enthusiastically she began relating her woes in a manner that was both undramatic and stirring at the same time.
'Nobody has agreed to help us. The politicians promise us things but nothing has improved. The waterlogging and garbage overflowing makes the kids sick. The police have not managed to find anything about my daughter's whereabouts.' I noticed that every passage of conversation kept finding its way back to her missing daughter.
'I don't know what to do. I can't bring myself to go to work thinking about her and these kids I have to take care of.'

In those two minutes she covered so many nuances of poverty. The burden of the girl child, abuse of women in the household, children growing up in broken homes, diseases, hopelessness, desperation, resilience, her missing daughter.
At no point in this heavy conversation did we have to egg her on. Neither did she ask us for anything material. For food for the baby, money, nothing.

'Please pray for my children. Just pray that is enough.'

We made empty promises to try and help. I know I shall forget about this soon, succumb to the cosy ignorance of richness.

What is your name, we asked her.
'Mine? Jessy' she said. I saw a glassy eyed smile; mine or hers I could not tell.
'Ponnu peru Ammu. Japam pannungo ma'

Ammu is her daughter's name. If you're not going back, Ammu, I hope you've found a better life than what you left behind. I'm not that optimistic about your three daughters.

Twitteretiquette, Self Importance and Being judgamental on a perfectly pleasant Sunday

Shashi Tharoor retweets a LOT.

Tell him it's Jhansi Rani's birthday, Please RT. He'll RT.
Real Example 1
ABC
@ShashiTharoor Today is the Birthday Anniversary of Rani Laxmibai. Why No media reporting freedom fighter birthday. http://on.fb.me/slBGB3
1 hour ago
Retweeted by ShashiTharoor

Tell him it's your birthday and the best gift would be a RT. Oh he'll RT.
Real Example 2
XYZ
A RT from our beloved @ShashiTharoor would be the highlight of my day... my birthday.... U guys think ill get it?
23 hours ago
Retweeted by ShashiTharoor

And why shouldn't he, you may ask. I thought about it, though and I've come to the conclusion that it takes someone enormously pig-headed and filled with disillusioned righteousness (not to mention a LOT of time.. though to be fair, I'm not one to talk about that) to do that.
See, it's fine if you think Jhansi Rani should be given her due. I think so too. But do you actually think it makes any difference if you retweet it? If you actually care, write a tribute. One click of a mouse is not gonna make the media sit up and take notice. They have better more profitable things to do.
Obviously this is a manifestation of a need to be praised constantly, to be adored, to maintain a set of unwavering fans who fawn over every noble tweet. Don't discredit your intelligent followers with such double faced patriotism.

And wishing me on my birthday. See, sometimes we regular folk get carried away by celebrities. I, for instance, think you write well; I even bought your book for my best friend's pregnant sister. But let's say I was completely crazy about you (hypothetical situation) I might be driven against good judgement and self respect to request you for a retweet like Mr. XYZ did. I might even feel a few minutes of thrill if u retweeted. But trust me, unless I was an exceptionally sad human being it would NOT be the highlight of my day. If i said it would i was simply being melodramatic. And you should know that you are not making the world a better place for me. And let's say XYZ was an exceptionally sad human being, then it's completely thoughtless of you to encourage his groveling. XYZ deserves better than that, but I suppose it makes you feel better about yourself.

Then there was this tweet..
Shashi Tharoor
Those who sneer at politicians attending weddings shld see how happy people r that u chose2b part of their special day. Glad2share their joy
13 Nov

I'm sorry you're so filled with this feeling that your presence is so special. I'm sorry but I'm still sneering.

Image from www.kindofcrap.com

The American Poor

We have a new professor called Steve Ross who takes a week long module for us. It's Day 2 and boy has he shown up in my life right when he was needed!
It's been a rough few weeks. Too much work. Too many annoyances. And dissatisfied professors. So for Steve Ross, who taught at Columbia University for more than a decade to manage not to be completely stupefied at our stupidity comes as a BIG encouragement.

So anyway, I could go on about him, but I don't wanna ramble cuz i'm not nearly as FANTASTIC as he is at that area (I swear i've never met anybody who could start off talking about a nuclear awareness website and branch off into the working of a battery made from cowdung and ACTUALLY make sense before. Is it still rambling if you paranthetise? Is paratherise a word?)

So Professor Steve Ross was showing us some pictures that his wife Rachel Ellner took for a feature series on the homeless in America. And it was amazing.
I don't mean the photographs, which no no doubt were, but it was the people in the pictures themselves. New York, according to Mr. Ross has thousands and thousands (I remember him saying 150,00, but thats seems so big I'm gonna have to double check) homeless people! Not what you think of when you think of New York sitting here, is it? But what stood out is the in-your-face difference between the poor in America and the poor in India.

In the photos he showed us, it might sound callous (I've been told I sometimes sound so), but the instinctive reaction was to dismiss their suffering. They all wear clothes.. they may look unwashed yes, but it's all there! shirt jacket jeans cap.. some goth homeless girl had some pretty kickass accessories and black nailpolish! Seriously!

Photo from stock.xchng

One of the reasons for this I gathered was the reasons for their poverty. In India, the urban poor are poor because there parents were poor. Except for maybe the disabled ones and the mentally challenged who are abandoned. In America, from what little I saw, poverty was due to a whole variety of other reasons. Lisa ran away from an abusive home. Scott has a severe drug habit. Elise and Roger and drug addicts and broke. All the stereotypical American names are made up btw. The rest is real.

I can't imagine that happening (exceptions prove the rule) to Urban youngsters here. For example, I was not fiercely independent/rebellious/stupid enough to actually run away from home and live on the streets when my parents wanted me to apply for a PhD. My parents would never kick me out of my home even if I had a drug habit (I hope that's not just wishful thinking) and if I ever lost my job, I would probably succumb to the temptation of living off a kind relative, even though I would hate myself for it. I give examples of myself because I can't talk for anybody else. But I dare say there are people who can relate. It's not even that I'm actually that spineless. As a matter of fact I often fancy myself to be a pretty fiercely independent for a 23yr old who still lives with her parents. Might not sound like much but I know more and more people who are a lot more infuriatingly submissive than I am.

Also the American homeless often hang around the streets with boards saying 'Need Work' and other more creative alternatives. Whereas I've never bumped into an Indian homeless person who's asked for a job and not money. Not that any of us rich folks would ever 'risk' employing someone we found on the street (what would the neighbours say!)

Image from http://kjwonka.hubpages.com/hub/New-Yorks-hot-new-export---homeless-people

The difference between the Indian and American homeless is even more emphasized when you look at this NY city website i found for their Dept of Homeless Services. So in this site they have a section called 'Homeless Now?' Can you imagine that! They are actually in a scenario where they can expect homeless people to log into the internet and find this page!

The very notion of having a website for homeless beggars to log on to here in India seems absurd at best..

Dissecting my Conflicted Brain

No wonder Science is misunderstood[Image from omglog.com]

Sometimes I wonder if I should've chosen less taxing electives in my course. Science journalism classes are really engaging but a ton of work. Environment elective is equally engaging but surprisingly very emotionally taxing. Now and then I find myself a little confused. From 8.30 AM to 10 AM I'm lost in the wonder of science and how it's shaped our lives. Then from 11 to 12.30 I find myself acknowledging how in the craze for economic 'growth', science and engineering is sucking all the life out of indigenous people and their surroundings. Not to mention the time in between where I'm attending our Covering Deprivation class which makes me uncomfortably aware of how hypocritical it is to get distressed by the poverty around us, sitting in my Levi's Jeans in an AC hall. So that's my Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings in a nutshell.

Pretty intense stuff in itself, but made even more hard-hitting by the fact that all are taught by such amazing teachers. You can't imagine how new this is all to me. Studying in crappy institutions up till now, my view of the Indian education system tends to be pretty dismal, perhaps unfairly so. So the emotionalness of classes only makes me grateful.

Particularly distressing though is the possibility of the optimism of Science classes and the pessimism of the Environment classes ultimately canceling each other out, and having a net effect of nothing on me. Somehow, our Science class outing today to the Institute of Mathematical Sciences quelled these fears somewhat.

Thanks to our super-proactive lecturer, we got to meet a theoretical Physicist called Prof. Murthy (of course he probably has a proper name) who along with some other scientists is spearheading a project called the 'Indian Neutrino Observatory'. Now theoretical physics is pretty much the most hardcore science of all in a way. It's all about understanding the most fundamental basis of everything that exists. Now I wasn't the biggest Physics buff in school by a long shot but I always figured unlike Chemistry and Biology which had some kind of direct tangible effect on our lives (eg. Coca Cola, Cancer), Physics was kind of unnecessary. I mean, come on. Till maybe electricity level physics is forgivable. But what possible need do we have to find know whether the Higgs Boson really existed? Or spend millions on research in the hope of assigning a mass to a sub atomic particle that might not even exist?? And do we really need to know what Jupiter is made of? Seemed a bit frivolous. Something that would interest and affect only geeks and physics fanatics. And nuclear energy? Oh that's gonna spell doom anyway.

It's easy to form those kind of judgements without really knowing what the deal is.
And I'm beginning to realize how horribly wrong I have been. Every possible technology we take for granted now is in some way a spin off from particle physics experiments. That XRay you took for your broken toe? Physics. That cell phone near you that just beeped? Physics. Waiting for Glee to air on TV? Physics. Oh wait who wait's for stuff to air on TV these days with the Internet? PHYSICS!
Really! i feel pretty stupid about my previous attitude. Imagine if teachers in school actually told us all this in school. In not doing so, I think it's pretty probable that we lost out on thousands of potential scientists, who are probably stuck in high paying jobs they hate.

Anyway, back to Professor Murthy. Now the Indian Neutrino Observatory sounds pretty fancy. To reemphasize its fanciness is the fact that it's set to be built more than a kilometer under a mountain in Theni, Tamil Nadu. Basically it's gonna house this thing called a detector that will try to capture and detect neutrinos emitted from the sun (they're underground to filter out the background 'noise' that is also emitted. Neutrino's, unlike the unwanted noise is not affected by the kilometer of rock in between). So this sounds like a hell (no pun intended)lot of work eh? And you'd probably expect the whole baggage of displaced villagers, angry activists, adamant scientists to follow. But these guys really seem to be different!

Dr. Murthy was disarmingly transparent to us, revealing all the opposition, the thrills and the disappointments they had to face on the way. It was really heartening to hear how the environmental and social impact of their endeavor has been such a high priority for them since the beginning. They spent years and years just to find a spot that would pose the least threat to human and wild life. They spent time, manpower and money to educate the nearby folk on what their project was about and how their livelihood would not be intruded. Even their website shows their dedication to this. I've never seen such an extensive FAQ page anywhere on the net. They've entertained the most fundamental and controversial questions that I bet a lot of other scientists would dismiss or get agitated over. Obviously, societal acceptance is a big deal for them and that seems to be a rare trait in these days of anti-nuclear agitation. I bet if the Kudankulam N-plant planners, politicians and experts involved really had nothing to hide, they would've have taken a little more reasonable and educated approach to pacify the displaced and the activists.

Dr. Murthy described to us how they had almost settled on a spot in Nilgiris to be the site of the INO, but a clearly unintelligent newspaper (no prize for guessing which) needlessly agitated the people in the areas by raising baseless concerns about radioactivity and resource depletion. This resulted in the cancelation of that plan and further delay, not to mention seemingly diligent scientists being attacked. Now I feel disgusted at this hyperactive, disillusioned, irresponsible role the media played. Because as Prof. Murthy said, there is no question of harmful radiation, since the entire focus of their experiment is based on keeping the lab surroundings as unpolluted of radiation as possible! Any radiation would defeat the purpose. Hence, it was like accusing a germophobe of bad hygiene!

Today, Science and Industries are dangerously close to being labeled the enemy. And incidents like Kudankulam, Bhopal tragedy, Tata's Singur plant and countless others are responsible for this. I'm hanging on to my belief that the INO project will change this trend, and show us that it is possible to be socially responsible in the path to progress. Otherwise, pursuing science journalism might end up taking a bigger toll on my conscience than I'd imagined.

Now Running: Nobel Prizes 2011 Verdict: HIT!

I'm starting to acknowledge that reading good science stories give me more of a kick than anything else. Suddenly now, I want to become a science journalist so painfully bad.
Anyway, this week was the Science Nobel week, and the Medicine and Chemistry ones have some really kickass stories behind them. PS - I've written in good english for so long in college that I'm suffocated. I'm letting loose my bad-english-monster below..

MEDICINE/PHYSIOLOGY

Firstly Ralph Steinman. Turns out he discovered dendritic cells! All those years I had to study Immunology, I never bothered to even remember his name till 2 days back. Anyway his story is made for an Oscar winner. So back in 1973 he discovers this type of cell in mammalian bodies called dendritic cells. Dendritic cells are a type of antigen-presenting-cell (APC) that detect and present foreign harmful substances (virus, tumours, peanuts..if you're allergic that is) to T-cells and B-cells, which terminate those pesky bastards. Steinman's allegation didn't get accepted too easily, like most important discoveries. So he had to do more and more research before it finally got the acknowledgement it deserved. Now thousands of scientists are clamouring for a piece of the pie, trying to use these dendritic cells to combat cancers, AIDS, allergic reactions etc.. So yeah, Steinman led the pack and he worked tirelessly especially against cancer.
Now the twist. In 2007, Steinman was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, the very disease he was training his dendritic cells to fight! Talk about irony..(this is one of those times that are tailormade for the usage of 'irony' though it might be wrong) Now at this point, if I were him I probably would've burst into self pitying tears and waited to die, content that people would probably remember me for those blasted cells and all. By now, you've probably guessed that Steinman was different. He decided to use this to his advantage. Say what? Ha, I'm not kidding I swear! The dude is so full of scientific spunk that he actually decides to use his own ailing body as a human guinea pig! I wonder what his wife had to say about that.. So yea does all that. Ends up living 4.5 years which is like a century compared to expected life expectancy for pancreatic cancer-diagnosed (Sorry Steve Jobs).
Now the Nobel people have a rule that they don't award dead dudes. So Steinman was really hoping to hang on till the announcement. Unfortunately he passed away 3 days before D-day. But hey, guess what happened next.. The Nobel committee screwed up. Either that or the Rockefeller University are a bunch of clever buggers! Whatever the reason, the Nobel committee were unaware of Steinman's passing till an hour after the announcement. So for the first time, a Nobel was awarded to a deceased guy. Nobel didn't ask and Rockefeller didn't say! Who can you blame really.. And hey if you ask me, Steinman deserved it a whole lot more than anyone in Big Boss is gonna deserve their cash prize, whatever it is.
What a story eh..

CHEMISTRY
Now the Chemistry story which actually inspired me to finally update my blog is quite different. Not so Hollywood-esque perhaps but still pretty darn inspiring. So the winner Danny Shechtman discovered quasi crystals, which have properties thought impossible by the entire chemist community, led by double Nobel laureate Linus Pauling (of alpha helix fame.. btw his story about the race to DNA structure with Watson and Crick is damn exciting too). So Shechtman's allegation of this type of crystal was in the 80s a bit like alleging that chickens can fly to the moon. Ofcourse he had proof but it was all so overwhelming and taboo for some reason that his peers began isolating him. Uppity jerks, scientists can be sometimes! Anyway, Shechtman hung on to his beliefs doggedly, until finally word spread and chemists started thinkin that maybe.. just maybe this guy wasn't so full of shit after all.
Turned out he was right, and these quasi crystal thingies do exist (Take that Pauling!) and are pretty damn useful at that.
More than his story, it was Danny Shechtman's manner of talking that made him my favourite scientist of the day. It's so refreshing to see people genuinely excited about the work they do, and at the same time humble and oh so adorably honest. So check this video out to see if you agree.

The Damned Grey Area

This Saturday, Amy Winehouse, 27, died, presumably of drug overdose, an event which the whole world had apparently been waging lighthearted(???) bets on. [www.whenwillamywinehousedie.com]

Meanwhile, the country of Norway (considered a champion of peace and humanitarian efforts and one of the biggest contributors to the UN) made a rare entry into the Breaking News, reeling from twin terrorist attacks that have killed nearly 100(?) persons.

My friend then pointed something out to me that ignited this need to understand something. We noticed that on our Facebook walls, tons of people paid a tribute to Winehouse (including me) but it wasn't easy to find one that said R.I.P Killed People of Norway or whatever. Of course the natural reaction of a wannabe-journalist should have been to condemn or to be disgusted with the fb generation's apathy. But since i was one of the RIP-Winehouse-posters, my instinctive reaction was on the defensive. So in twisted way, this conflict created a balance which allowed me to look at this somewhat neutrally.

THE QUESTION. Is our generation doomed because we evidently care more about the death of a popular musician with a figurative timebomb around her neck than the mass killings of innocent civilians in a country far away?

The truth is, we're doomed anyway. But not quite for the reason mentioned above. The sad fact is that most of us, except the News TV addicts most likely heard about Winehouse's death first (Source: FB updates, SMS's, radio.. whatever). In my case I read about the attack, but when i did the news report said 2 people dead so far, so I'm ashamed to say the event did not really register at that time. All the bad news on newspapers have desensitized me. But's lets leave that for another day.
Bottomline is, that i'm quite sure a lot of the current pop-crazy generation did not know about Norway and naturally did not tweet/fb about it. Now that comfortable ignorance is what is highly disturbing.

That being said, lets consider the possibility that everybody did know about Norway when it happened. Still I'm not completely shocked by the fact that Amy Winehouse's death gave people a jolt more than Norway did; I'm being brutally realistic here. Music is such a powerful thing, that it misleads the listener into believing he/she knows the artist personally. So it seems that people connect more to Amy Winehouse, the self-destructive druggie than the innocent 100 of Norway, who they did not know.
I'm not sure how this point of view projects me as a person, but i'm trying to make it as objective as possible. Think about it. If your much looked-up-to 95 yr-old teacher passed away the same time as 300 people in Genovia (yes, I know there's no such State), which tragic loss would impact you more? If it happened to be the former, must we feel ashamed of that? Is it fair to judge people who did not virtually vocalize their distress abt Genovia as much as they did the teacher, whom they did not really know as a person but loved for her teachings?
I'm not sure myself. The selfish truth is that we all only feel pain when it happens to us.

Those who are fortunate enough to not agree with this, you're all much bigger people than I am. The World needs more of you.

Some trivia I found interesting for some reason: Amy Winehouse was arrested in Norway for marijuana possession back in 2007

By the way, if you visit CNN.com's homepage now, it looks like Winehouse is given more space than Norway. Now that I feel is irresponsible journalism. You can't be as lenient with an entire News corporation as you can with individuals.

Image: dailytelegraph.com

First Day of College – TAKE 3!

So here I am again, 6 years after my first time, trying my hand at this college thing once more. There were some significant differences this time however. One, I actually WANT to pursue this course; two, I have absolutely no idea what to expect and three, I’ve never been part of a class which reeked so much of self-confidence. At the orientation programme today we met Mr. Sreekumar Menon whose presence took I think about 90sec to extract a sense of awe, kin-ship and respect from the crowd. He was effortlessly hilarious, and his though he very quickly had the whole crowd wrapped around his little finger, it was quite obvious that his jokes, full of intelligent sarcasm, were ones that you don’t wanna take too lightly. Even when he’s advising us against something, he does it in such a way that you don’t feel pressured.. you just feel stupid for ever having done that something. Because Sree’s da Man.. He might not look it, but trust me you don’t wanna mess with this wise old fellow.
The whole orientation talk maybe lasted an hour, during which he outlined to us the core courses, the structure of the whole course, introduced the other faculty ( consisting of a Ranji trophy cricketer, a musician who supposedly takes part in students’ mischiefs, a raahu-kalam believing dynamic radio journalist etc.. ). He also said something very relevant I think, to many of us present there. He said that during the interviews that we all had gone through as part of the admission procedure, he noticed one thing. Almost all of us apparently mentioned to the panelists one thing, that we chose this course because we love to write (I don’t remember clearly, but I think it’s a safe bet to say that I might have been one of them). He said that he found that admirable, since he himself is petrified of writing, something that made me, and possibly others feel rather small and naïve. Brashly, yet effectively showed us what a disillusioned bunch we were by revealing that our so-called-passion for writing wasn’t exactly shared by the readers of our essays; a comment that was greeted by sheepish laughter. To think that each of us one hundred and fifty students was secretly basking under the perception that our writing talent was something special is quite hilarious.
I was expecting the cream of the intelligentsia with an attitude to match among the student crowd. Can’t say I’m disappointed but thankfully it didn’t feel as intimidating as I expected, at least not today. Everyone was as anxious to make friends, I suppose. Everybody smiled sweetly at each other, exchanged names and backgrounds. An elaborate mating ritual, everybody waiting to meet, to choose that handful of people whose shoulders they can cry on, whose work they can copy, whose car-pool they can join, during the months to come. I played my part, met quite a few people, saw traces of future bitchiness, brilliance, phoniness, stupidity and a lot of hidden dynamism in the relatively quiet ones. But it would be a mistake to start judging prematurely so I’m keeping an open mind and minding my own business as always.
Monday, is when the wheels actually start rolling. An inaugural address by noted, controversial historian Dr. KN Panikkar on "IS DEMOCRACY WHAT DEMOCRACY DOES? REFLECTIONS ON INDIA'S POLITICAL PRESENT" will kick-start the day. I’m reading up on democracy so I don’t unecessarily embarrass myself.
Till next time.

My Sick unhealthy fascination #1

Today I found myself watching on TV, girls trying to convince heiress Paris Hilton to choose them as her BFF (Best Friend Forever).
I'm amazed by how Paris can take herself seriously; how insecure (or secure? I'm not sure) must those 20-something girls be to be willing to portray themselves as such spineless un-intelligent suck-ups on international TV; how can ANYBODY not burst out laughing while walking on a fake red carpet with a maddeningly serene looking Paris Hilton (See photo below for her trademark expression.. drives me crazy.. ALMOST - emphasis on almost - makes me want to watch her infamous sex-tape just to see if she looked that vapid and peaceful even mid-coitus) and face a phoney paparazzi and answer questions like 'How does it feel to be Paris's new BFF?' (Read, Paris's new disposable toy) or 'Do you think you're more famous than Paris?' (No prizes for guessing the right answer to that one)

How sickly self obsessed can a person be to conduct and judge a competition where girls have to try their darndest to look like you (bleached blonde pigtails in Paris's case.. apparently the more unperturbed you are about looking like a drag queen, the more Paris likes you), and the winner gets to be your BFF? How dumb can you be to actually be under the illusion that you actually WANT to be Paris Hilton's New BFF?? I'm baffled! I'm nearly hyperventilating here, yet I cannot bring myself to switch channels; I'm mesmerized by the - i can't even pick a word, absurdity? outrageousness? frivolity?. And after all this, if Paris isn't happy with your level of subservience, you're eliminated, which of course, that would be the end of the world. Forget a cure for Cancer, global warming, diamonds even.. what a girl really wants, is to be Paris Hilton's use-and-throw dummy.

I think Ms Hilton isn't as stupid as she looks. She is a sadistic rich b**** who fills up the voids in her heart with the insecurity of other people.

Or PH's new BFF is simply a show made by sad people starring sad little rich girls, watched by sad people .

The third possibility is that or the whole thing is staged. God knows she has the money to pull it off. The producers are smart and the girls in the show are just really good actors; all of them collectively feeding on the masochistic tendencies of the audiences to raise their TRP's. In that case, what can I say.. the joke's on me.

Nightmare

I've always had very vivid dreams.. nightmares a few as well. This one stood out on the strange-scale and had me pretty weirded out for a couple of weeks. Last July 2010..

It was a fairly big lunch party. 10-20 people from the looks of it. All kinds’ Indian, black and white. A long table was set on the largest open area in a sort of bathroom, a hostel one. People were lounging around the room. A slight disturbance could be noticed among scattered members of the party. Worried looks and puzzled glances. While walking out of hall, I walk by big black man(basketball uniform clad) surrounded by friends, looking very upset. Told myself it was none of my business but when I happened to see him cry just before I shut the door, I asked if he was okay. Big Black man nodded his head vaguely and I walked out, passing the shut door of another room.
Cut to kitchen. Three women were cooking pie. They were joking around at ease. They playfully teased big blonde (4th grade mum in New adventures of old Christine) about being a career woman. Big blonde tells petite blonde that it is good that Petite Blonde has decided to go back to her husband after committing some grave sins. Petite Blonde seems to be in much greater spirits than she was previously. They slice the cheesy pie on a pan which was a bit bigger than the pie itself. Petite Blonde was making up to her husband.
Cut to living room.
Brother’s watching TV. By now, definite bad vibes were apparent. I look out into the sky and see war-of-the-worlds-cloud formation. I tell my brother but he isn’t very shocked as this has seemingly occurred before. So we knew that we’d be safe for a little while longer.
Cut to bedroom. Mother is changing. I ask her if she’s noticing what’s happening. She replies that she hasn’t, but she did realize it was getting darker. I show her the cloud formation. Being too short she, had to crane her neck.
I start walking back to dining room. From a door emerges level-headed Mowlik (or it might have been my dad) who I walk up to. He looks half amused-half concerned. I ask him if his friends inside are okay. He says no, something bad is about to happen. I share my experience of Big Black Man. He nods and walks back in, as I wait. He returns and tells me he does not know what is going on, but his friend just said the world will end on March 17th . March 17th, he says.
I woke up with a jerk.

March 17th of this year is gone.. so hopefully posting this jinxes out the possibility of March 17th, 2012 happening.
Cheers!

Cheerleaders versus Cheerqueens

So one of the new franchisees of the IPL decided to do away with those bold and busty cheerleaders as had become customary, and instead introduce traditional Indian dancers to do the cheering job at the sidelines. What is it with these Pune and Mumbai people that makes them think they're better Indians than the rest of us. I mean look at them: Mumbai INDIANS... Pune Warriers INDIA.. No other teams have India in it do they? It seems to me like they have this inherent need to convince others of their superior brand of patriotism. And then this new cheerleaders development.

For most of us (women, at least) the bimbo cheerleaders were rather annoying and borderline demeaning even, feministically speaking. I wonder if they would have dancing men wearing thongs for a women's version of the IPL... I hope not. Most of these girls especially the foreigners aren't even that pretty.. they just show skin, vapidly smile and dance un-coordinately. And except for the first part, the other two are mighty hard to do in the Indian heat so hats off to them.

What were cheerleaders originally meant to offer to sports, anyway? We've grown up reading books and watching movies that project getting into the cheerleading team as the ultimate fantasy of any high school girl.. which by corollary means that you get to date the soccer captain of course. The idea of an activity developed for sole reason of boosting male egos seems so pointless, frivolous and insulting. Thankfully Indian high schools haven't adopted adopted that particular fad yet. I'm not saying cheerleading is easy. God knows how crazily athletic you need to be to get those moves right, but then why not just call it gymnastics?

Which brings us back to the IPL cheerleaders, who the franchises clearly utilize not because of athletic prowess but only due to sex appeal. Like everything else about the IPL, if you think about it. The IPL is like the pleasure I imagine one would derive from a tasteless energetic quickie.. a one night stand, as opposed to a test match that gives us the satisfaction of a fulfilling marriage.. initial excitement.. ocassional bland patches.. but so much more wholesome. So now that we've justified the role of the cheerleaders in the IPL ie. to tantalise and nothing else, is there a need for the interference of Mohiniaatam, Bharatnatyam and other elegant Indian art forms into this tacky display? Obviously, Subrato Roy, with his righteous moustache 'n all wants to make a statement, but I think its unnecessary. Ultimately, the dancers themselves go through a whole lot of hassles with costumes, make-up and choreography to cheer a crowd that understandably isn't in the mood to appreciate the detailed nuances of such dance forms. It doesn't make sense.

Want to feel Intelligent? Bully Rebecca Black.

By now I think everybody must've heard Rebecca Black's Friday. 99.98% of reviews were terrible, merciless, shameful and indicative of how much we, as a society need to exert our supremacy over seemingly less intelligent entities.
The remaining 0.02% were good reviews, all found in Blacks' official website, by different people who all suspiciously had the same display picture, and names like Drew Peacock. However fact remains that in a week she's raked in abt 15 million views i think. Anyway majority of the flak is being faced by the lyrics of the song; which is the bit I think is a little unfair.

Of course with lyrics like -
Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today
Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after...wards
I don’t want this weekend to end
- i'd be crazy to deny the sheer stupidity of the writers, but if you look at a lot of artists who're multiple award winners and billboard toppers then you'd have to face the truth that bad lyrics have been a part of our day for years before Rebecca Black. Take a look..

Stop, talk, talk, talking that blah, blah, blah
Think you'll be getting this? Nah, nah, nah
Not in the back of my car, ah, ah
If you keep talking that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
-Ke$ha, Her debut single, "Tik Tok", released in late 2009, reached number one in eleven countries; Currently doing a tour called Get Sleazy tour..

Womanizer, Woman, Womanizer
You're a Womanizer, oh Womanizer oh
You're a Womanizer, baby
You you you are, You you you are
Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer (Womanizer)
-Britney Spears, Disney product, Started off being a poster-child for pre-marital modesty..ended up being married thrice, the shortest one lasting a day?

January, February, March, April, May
June, July....
August, September, October,
November, December
- Boney M (erm.. yea thats the whole song)

So when we've forgiven these stars, even liked their songs, why are we stooping so low as to publicly bullying a 13year old child like Rebecca? I say we, because I've made fun of her myself. But i read some comments that supposedly educated and fashionably disdainful people have written and i was disgusted. There were comments like "I hope you cut yourself and I hope you get an eating disorder so you'll look pretty. ..."
Clearly, this is a sign of extreme insecurity?

Ark Music Factory (the record label that signs these kids) is a conscience-less, money-hungry, manipulative, bunch of masochists who don't care either about the number of youngsters they are leading on, nor about the negative light they are projecting themselves in.. as long as there's good money.

If you need to understand where I'm coming from, watch another video by a 12 year old Jenna Rose called 'My Jeans'. Clearly this sweet kid needs some urgent counseling.

Kids, wait till you're 17 to look sexy and get slaughtered by the media. You won't regret it.

Graduation Day Apathy

March the 26th is our convocation day. The day we get presented our Masters degrees. As tedious as my couple of years in SRMC was, I decided to go, if not for love for the University, at least out of the sentiment that it would probably be the last time the dysfunctional set of MSc Bioinformatics pursuers would be in one place willingly.

[from usnews.com]


I wouldn't even have to take a day off from work I figured. I could just walk in after work on Saturday at about 3, snatch my degrees, say the customary Hi's and Byes to fellow classmates and lecturers and walk off.. maybe after lunch at KFC with the few ones I have some affection for.
But turns out that's not the way Graduation ceremonies work. There's a rehearsal. A bleddy rehearsal.
On the day before. Not just that, we had to report at some unearthly hour to get the robes (I'm taking a wild guess they'll be yellow) and just to keep up with the trend of getting on my nerves, the college has a dress code. And not the kind they enforce every day ie. salwar kameez. They want us to wear Saris.
That was the last straw.
I'll get my degree from the courier man thank you very much.

What a negative attitude to have, many of you will wonder. But somehow I've never been psyched about Graduation Day like my peers. My first graduation, for my bachelors degree in VIT I never went for. Received that by post as well. And looks like it'll be the same this time. While the others cherish this day forever, the caps, the robes, the customary photo with proud mummy/daddy has never been done.

I guess I just haven't felt like I've accomplished something close to me, in my life so far. I've never graduated from something worthwhile enough to me. Hopefully that will happen at some point.

Someday, I too will switch the Graduation Tassel.

Amen!

Coin toss and Drawing lots..

I was going through ICC rules regarding Quarter-final qualification at work. And I this cracked me up.

[From Cricinfo.com]
'In the event of teams finishing on equal points in its Group, the right to play in the quarter-finals will be decided in the following order of priority:

* The team with the most wins in the Group matches will be placed in the higher position.

* If there are teams with equal points and equal wins in the Group matches then in such case the team with the higher net run rate in the Group matches will be placed in the higher position (refer below for the calculation of net run rate).

* If following the net run rate calculation above there are teams which are still equal, then the team with the higher number of wickets taken per balls bowled in the Group matches in which results were achieved will be placed in the higher position.

* If still equal, the team which was the winner of the head to head match played between them will be placed in the higher position.

* In the highly unlikely event that teams cannot be separated by the above this will be done by drawing lots. '

I guess it makes sense, but it's so out of the blue. All those dignified sounding tie-breaking techniques and if nothing works... Eenie meenie miney Mo!
Its bizarre how much random selection plays a role in our lives without us realizing it..

My Trysts with the Animal-kind

[Image from gturskyte.blogspot.com]

I'm not an animal lover. I'm not an animal hater either - i mean except for eating birds and the occasional mammal, I don't have a tiger skin rug and I probably would never consider wearing a fur coat and stuff. But I've always been a little scared of animals, even dogs; which is when I come to think about it, a little puzzling because we used to have a pet dog till I was around 2 I think. And I have vaguely vivid memories of cuddling with Benji.. So i can't have been born this way.

Now however I am definitely not one of those people (see Swathi, you finally got a mention :) ) who can feed and pat strays or even the neighbor's pet dog. Or cat for that matter.. or birds (I don't like creatures that flap their wings..yes butterflies included; they give me the shivers). I'm not a bad person I promise, and I really wish I could be more of a dog person, I think having a pet can give a person a lot more character. I'd like to marry a guy with a big dog I think.. so my kids don't end up freaks like me.
Anyway, I got thinking at work today.. have animals really done anything to scar me for life?? And then the answer came to me...

YES!

As an establishment of this fact, I present to you, my loyal (read unfortunate) blog-readers EVIDENCE... Kingdom Animalia is out to get me.

1. Mojo-jojo
In my 1st year in VIT, there was a miscreant skulking in the girls Hostel... a monkey. And not those mischievous little ones with thin limbs. These were roughly the size of a 10yr old boy (those who know my brother, think of him). My roommates and me had already caught sight of 1 or 2 and once I answered the knock on our door and it was none other than the smart simian himself. You'd think the story ends there, and so did I. My quota of monkey contact is over for this lifetime at least, I assumed. So imagine my horror when I looked up at the wall of my bathroom cubicle the next morning, mid-shower, and found myself looking at a giant monkey looking down casually at me.. Yes I screamed. No I did not run out starkers.

2. To bee or not to bee.
Second year.. different hostel block.. different animal problem. There was the mother of all beehives that persistently kept building up in the corridoor right in front of the bathrooms. Just the buzzing and the sight of those millions of insects crawling inside the big fat hive gave me the creepies. And then I have to imagine that promiscious queen bee in the middle killing all the soldier bees after they pleasure her.. Can you blame me, seriously?

3. The Dog and the Kebab
Those of you who know me should know one thing. Besides my family, there's one thing that I'm very touchy about. And that's chicken. Things like not acquiring my choice of chicken piece are liable to make me extremely cranky. So while I can't think of one incident that might have caused me to be a little averse to dogs, i can think of a few that certainly led to the deterioration of my inclination towards the creatures. Like this one. I was walking on campus munching on a Chicken kebab Roll with my friend Naimi, when a stray started following us. My heart was racing but I just kept walking, while Naimi completely lost it and made me throw my roll as bait to make the dog stop following us. Naturally at that vulnerable state of mind I did it. But I was devastated. It was a really juicy roll.

4. Waspish..
Like bees, wasps till last summer were a nightmare to me. But something happened in Bangalore that both erased my fear for them AND heightened my hatred for them. I had gone to spend the weekend in Chennai and was returning to my room in Bangalore at around 4 AM, looking forwarded to getting the final 2hrs of sleep before work begun. Dragging my suitcase into the flat, I unlocked my room opened it to find a heart-sinking sight. For some inane reason I'd forgotten to close a window and left the tube-light switched on. As a result there were about 200 wasps crowded around the light and the curtain. Sleep, like chicken is another thing I'm touchy about and more than the fear, I was livid. How dare those thoughtless buzzing nincompoops take over my room and deny me my sleep! Blood boiling, I single handedly killed every single one of the wasps with my Bata chappal. And I got some sleep after that. Take that Phylum/Kingdom/Class Insectae!

5. Others
Crows shit on my hard washed clothes.
Pigeons make a nest in my shoe.
Mosquitoes are dumb. I'm not even sorry when I fry them with the bat.
Rats are rats.

I'm a terrible terrible person. I'l probably be a mosquito in my next life. And the mosquito will be me, frying me with a bat..with a smirk.

It's not the End of the World.. or is it?

I was browsing TV channels today when I saw that Independence Day was running on Star Movies. If my dad did not want the remote and if my brother didn't have exams, I might just have sat down and given it a watch. There's something about Doomsday movies isn't there... even to a skeptic like me. Because being skeptical is one thing; crossing the fine line separating it from blissful obliviousness is another.
And as easy as it is to believe that the Earth is invincible, that we've been around for billions of years and we can do another million just fine, that the Y2K, 2012, Roswell theories are all merely conspiracy theories writers and movie makers thrive on, there's still the nagging feeling of is anything permanent?
Everything has to end right? Can immortality stretch to encompass the non-abstract? Okay, that sentence sounded a bit pompous, but what I'm trying to say is how much sense does it make to keep believing that our world is forever?
So let's say the Earth, like you and me has it's expiry date. Then there has to be a perpetrator . What are the possibilities...

a) Environmental Disaster?
Lets face it. This does seem the most likely at the rate we're disposing/deforesting/procreating.
Movie equivalent: 2012, Day after Tomorrow

b) Meteor Impact
I read in a NASA article that this did cause the extinction of Dinosaurs (am i wrong to be relieved?) So it can very well happen again, it's been a few million years.. Maybe it won't even be a planetary annihilation.. maybe humans will disappear like the dinasaurs. I just cowardly hope that I'm at the focus of impact so I don't have to see anything.
Movie Equivalent: Armageddon

c) Microbial Epidemic
SARS, Bird Flu, Swine Flu.. We've all seen it happen. No reason why it shouldn't happen on a larger scale. I'm a little skeptical about Cannibalism however.
Movie Equivalent: 28 days later,Dawn of the Dead, The Happening etc..
Book Equivalent: Cell - Stephen King

d) Extraterrestial Invasion
Science states the existence of millions of galaxies in the Universe. Meaning gazillions of planets. The chances of Earth being the only one with life are negligible. There has got to be another 10000 planets at least with intelligent life on it. Let's just hope they're friendly..
Movie Equivalent: Independence Day, War of the Worlds

So that's all I came up with. I don't mean to be morbid I swear; I'm just naturally a little unhealthy in my thinking. If my writing was so powerful that it's scared any of you, don't be. Read this interview with a NASA scientist. I dare say he knows more..

http://www.nasa.gov/topics/earth/features/2012.html

Happy Weekend!

The Curious Case of the Automan in the Morning Time..

There's few things that intrigue in Chennai more than Auto drivers do. They are easily the most misunderstood, stereotyped community in the city. Since I take an auto every morning from home to work, I've begun to become a recognized figure in the Auto circles in front of Student Xerox centre. Or maybe it's the other way round, but the point is that it's come to stage where I have these regular auto drivers who recognize me and take me to my destination without having to direct them or bargain.
Before I tell you my story you should know that normally, I want to go to Egmore, auto drivers ask for 40 or 50 and I bring it down to 30 and seal the deal. After the petrol hike, me being the righteous person I am had the heart to increase the amount to 35, even though it's less than 2km of travel. And trust me that 5 rupees matters; with my pay it does.
So yeah, today I walked up to auto stand, coolly said Egmore Ashoka Hotel like I always do.
He said get in, like they always do.
I said 35 bucks, in a take it or leave it kind of tone, mentally preparing myself to fight for the 5 bucks, like i always do.
He said 30, like...er wait.
I said Eh?
He said 30.
I said 30?
He said 30.
I said well, okayyyy. And got into the vehicle.

Meanwhile my mind was going overdrive. Was he a rich autodriver maybe? Does he want to lure me into some kind of trap? Do i resemble is dead aunt? Is my shirt too low cut?
Or wait.... Could he.. could he just be a nice man who only wanted what he deserved?
Thankfully I reached my destination. I thought about giving him the 5 bucks extra anyway but I didn't want to offend him or anything so i didn't. I thanked him he said thanks back and left.
Leaving me mildly dumbfounded and a little ashamed at how quickly and easily I jumped to dramatic conclusions.

Of Audiobooks and Auditory Weaknesses..

Audiobooks aren't a brand new concept by a long shot, but I've never owned one till this week. And I'm in a fix. How does you work an audio book work exactly? I mean you can't listen to it like you listen to music right? I mean when I listen to music I dissolve into it. I let my mind wander and I don't really do much directional thinking. But when I read a book a have to look at the lines, absorb the words, the meaning, i have to be correlating each line with previous occurrences to follow the story. So logically, Audio books fall in between. I have to pay attention to my headphones. Who does that? It's just like a lesson you may say, like how teachers teach you. You're listening and learning, and that's what you're supposed to do with Audio books too I guess. But I wasn't sure.. I mean what if I get so involved in the narration that I forget the traffic and the peeing men? What if i forget to look at the pavement floor and step on one of the little poo piles little children leave behind on the Dr. Nair Bridge? But because I'm me, I decided I shouldn't have any trouble. I've always been a very visual rather than auditory (is that the word?) person. I prefer to use my ears for means other that those involving mental activity.. like music. That's why I've always fallen asleep in classes. However interesting something is, however much enjoy reading abt the very same topic, when it is narrated/taught to me, when it involves listening to something, my brain shuts; i fall instantly asleep. This has lead to innumerable embarrassing scenarios. I was always the unintentional guilt-trip/scape-goat of lecturers. Some used to stop classes looking at me, supposing that the class has reached its saturation point. Others used to continue. The rest used to wake me up amidst sniggers and ask me to wash my face. I eventually realized that the only way to stop this habit was to break the monotony. Hence I started to ask doubts. That kept me awake at least the time I was talking to the lecturer.
My point is that the prospects aren't looking too bright. Looks like my David Sedaris Audio-book might just rust away in my Ipod..

Theory of a Mad woman...

So I have this theory.
Lately I've begun to notice that a large proportion of parents with girls waiting to get arranged married off have been having a hard time finding a suitable boy. It's not as easy as it used to be and that could be because the educated girl has higher standards & expectations. But I think there's another reason. A trend.
The number of youngsters willing to and successfully falling in love have experienced a steep incline. As a result of the still existent tradition of sons being given more freedom than daughters, this trend is manifested at a somewhat higher level in the boys. Therefore the nice guys are all getting hooked in a frenzy.. and we all know how rare they are already. That leaves among the eligible bachelors, a few really good catches, many substandard ones and more than a handful of losers.
And among the women its the same but there's a higher number of good catches since girls are generally more protected in the Indian household.
So lets say there's 500 boys and 500 girls in the world.
200 boys are good, 300 bad
300 girls are good, 200 bad
Out of these 150 good boys and 150 good girls hook up. So in the market is:-
50 good boys, 300 bad boys
150 good girls, 200 bad girls



Since we're not interested in the bad people, bottom-line is that 150 good girls have to fight over 50 good boys or settle for the remaining mediocre 300 bad boys.
Ofcourse there are plenty of loopholes here, but hopefully you get the essence of what I'm saying.
It's a tough world out there for parents... Happy Hunting!

Master of None...

[Image: www.smemarketing.com]

With respect to vocation, there are two types of happy people in this world. Those of you who actually read my blog (ie. Archana..i hope) will at this juncture heave an internal (or external, based on how emotive you are) groan of irritation.Does this woman's imagination not run beyond classifying people into 2 categories?? - you might be thinking. If you are, then worry not, i promise you this time its a whole lot simpler and shorter.
The first type of happy people are those who are inclined to one area, they pursue that area doggedly, make a name of themselves. They're happy.
The second type of happy people are those who are never happy doing one thing for long. They have a wide variety of interests, take life maybe a little less seriously. They do many things, as, when and how they please. They're happy too.
The unhappy people fall under these categories too but they are those who, not recognizing which type they fall under, keep striving to become the opposite type.
The secret is simple - type yourself and make the most of it.

Every girl's a princess

"Whatever comes," she said, "cannot alter one thing. If I am a princess in rags and tatters, I can be a princess inside. It would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in cloth of gold, but it is a great deal more of a triumph to be one all the time when no one knows it."

One thing my little brother and me bond over is movies. Today I watched for the first time a big screen adaptation of my ever favorite classic 'A Little Princess' written by Frances Hodgeson Burnett.
I must've read the novel atleast 6-7 times and each time I did it made me a little more hopeful, gave me a little more faith in faith and the belief that all would be well in the end. If it isn't well, then it's not the end yet. Corny, but I'd like to think it was books like these that make me such an optimistic person in general. I get upset but I've never got bogged down. While I know Sarah's story isn't true and is very unlikely to ever happen to anybody, the reason for that is simple; it can only happen to someone like Sarah. And Sarah was unlike anyone, possibly a utopic character. We can try to be like her but Sarah's mind was so gloriously innocent, her spirit so indomitably resilient, her mind so pristine, so unpolluted from the real world of pessimism, that nobody but someone who has faced all odds can truly be her.
All that said and done, I read about the first acclaimed movie version of the story, the one with Shirley Temple in it. Then I came across a remake by Alphonso Cuaron which was also critically reknowned so I chose to download this one, thinking a color one would probably appeal to my brother more.
What did I think of the movie? It wasn't terrible, some of the performances were exemplary, like Miss Minchin, Ermengarde, Lavinia and Lottie. Sarah's character was heart wrenching but subtle things like the intelligence in her eyes, were missing. I still did sob like a shameless moron everytime she said 'Papa' though. They were quite liberal with the story. Sarah's papa doesn't even really die in the movie. And there were a few laughable stunt scenes in the climax. The progression of events was abrupt and the magic of the book couldn't be felt, even though you'd have thought the ending would have felt happier, seeing as Captain Crewe comes back to life and all.
But I guess its just one of those books that nobody can do full justice to.
Like 'Catcher in the Rye'. I was super psyched to see that there's a movie. till i read that the movie is simply a 75min and 6sec of blank screen. That is pure brilliance. In its rawest simplest form.
Nothing more, nothing less (sic.)

Reminders of Then..

Though it looks like I have separated myself from all things Bioinformatics, life still hands out periodical reminders that I can't bring myself to discard. Science did form a big part of my life so far and I guess I haven't learnt to completely let go yet.
Like my Nature journal updates that I'v subscribed to. I don't read em anymore but I don't have the heart to unsubscribe..
So every couple of days I get a mail from The British Journal of Cancer or a Nature Biotechnology Alert or Nature Neurology Reviews among others. Somehow it keeps me connected to a past that in reality isn't that very far away, but seems to be fading away quickly.

The Ones that got away

[Image from http://worldcricketwatch.com]
Its difficult to feel sorry for the Tainted Trio. Every photo of them walking in and out of court has them smiling, joking, well dressed and almost as if they're enjoying the attention. They get banned for 7yrs and then tell the press that they are innocent. Who do they think they're kidding? Obviously something must be making them feel invincible, or else they'd atleast fake a little remorse right? or distress or rage if they really are being framed.
All I can say is I feel sorry for the honest Pakistani players. Not only have these morons irreversibly damaged their own reputations they've also invariably cast this shadow of doubt on their entire nation. And they have idiots like Ijaz Butt to encourage them. What a sad state of affairs.
I want to see some happy news on TV for a change. I guess for that happy things need to happen. But it really is a mood killer to see the unscrupulous principle-less disgraces of the universe get away..

Tri Valley Phoniversity

Are students this desperate to study/settle abroad? Its pathetic and disheartening, how these kids compromise themselves to below standard institutions, which don't even look good on paper.

I decided to check if the University website is still up to see if it looked bogus. I wanted to laugh, i wanted to cry, i wanted to scream. The grammar is the least of the problems.
Excerpts...

Student Profiles
Hugh Nugen Ph.D. in Electrical Engineering Department, Major: Analog IC
Education: B.S. Electrical Engineering 2000, U.C.Berkeley; M.S. Northwestern Polytechnic University, Electrical Engineering, 2004;
Profile: Senior Staff Engineer and Supervisor at Vashay-Siliconix. Hugh Nugen actually contributes to the inception of TVU. As Dr.Su's former graduate student, Hugh one day posed her a question :"I want to study for Doctorate Degree in Electrical Engineering. Which university shall I go to?" To which, she first answers him " Go to this university", He said:" This university does not have that.". She then told him "Go to that university.". He said :" That university does not have this.". Couple of months later, she finally was able to provide him a satisfactory answer "Come to Tri-Valley University then!". Tri-Valley University is built according to our students need and request. Most of the features are actually suggested to build by our students.

Ashwin Reddy
...
Profile: Ashwin is currently work for a company.

Alice Wilcox, BSBA
Education: Associated Degree, Diablo College
Profile: "After attend the college for a AA degree, I went straightly to work. I then own my own business at Livermore CA and it has been very successful. Now I am retired and pass the business to my son, I want to complete my Degree for personal fulfillment. Also I can set up an real example for my grandson to earn the degree, every time I told him to. "
Don't believe me? See for yourself.

Source: http://www.trivalleyuniversity.org/

Who cares if you like it, just put a ring on it!

note: Image from valentinaramos.blogspot.com
There comes a stage in every single Indian girl's life when she becomes the 'Next-in-line'. Typically this happens when all siblings, first cousins, and second cousins (in that order) are married off.
[Digression- Old fashioned folks have a puzzling perception of culture. From what I have managed to understand, going out for parties, staying out late, going for vacations with friends are accepted IF and only if 1.you're married/engaged or 2. your parents don't know about it. So single girls incapable of large scale story-telling say goodbye to a respectable social life.]
Basically if you're 25, Indian and female then you are accepted if you follow any one of the following criteria:-
1. On top of the social hierarchy is the ideal well educated girl with a killer job who is married to an equally well placed young man. These people are blessed if they're compatible. They've worked hard to get where they're at they deserve all the social adoration. Everything's in place for the Great Malayalee Dream.
2. You have an engineering/MBA/Masters degree and a maybe even a decent job and you're married to a highly qualified man with very bright prospects; Get a kid soon and you're not too far behind the top of the proverbial ladder.
3. You're married. If the guy looks good enough on paper than even this is accepted.
4. You're unmarried but doing your PhD in which case there will still be remaining men in the market who will be seduced by your seemingly bright looking resume irrespective of the old age. (Of course you might be expected to bear a kid soon and not complete your thesis, but all that matters is that you pass on the genius genes to the offspring)
5. You don't even need to have the brains. Even if you're not even interested in what you're doing, if your dad has the moolah to send you abroad, get a degree from a prestigious university or if you end up with an overpaying IT job which you hate, you're still given respect in the social circle.
Look good on paper that's all that matters. If you're truly happy then good for you. If you're not, then just grin and bear it.. unless you want to end up a social pariah.

So where does that leave me? I'm still 22 so I have about 3yrs before the deadline. I can still opt for an MBA in VIT or Ramachandra or wherever, get married after that and save my name. Of course I could attend CAT coaching and somehow get through IIM if i wanted to. I could even forget the whole MBA and get agree to get married right now (I do have a Masters degree anyway) and still have a piece of the Dream. Ideally, by now I'd have written my GRE and be enroute to a PhD degree anywhere in the USA/UK/whichever or at least an MS. It doesn't matter that that would have exhausted about 20 lakhs from whose ever bank account; its still better than what I'm doing now. but then What isn't?! :)
So yeah you'd think I have hope eh? A shot at the Dream.. But what's life without a twist? I chose instead to 'follow my dream'. That one thing all respected families are afraid of; I turned into the one thing all parents dread - the prodigal daughter. I gave up 'my' PhD dreams, i gave up biology all together - for the time being atleast - only to do what I liked. With no qualification backing me, I entered the media. And I'm not even sure how long I'd like this to last. I'm still probably spending more than I earn, but that'l change when the time comes. All I know is that this feels right and that's all I'm looking for. Maybe I'm breaking a lot of hearts in the process but I suppose I am selfish that way. Thankfully I have a family that doesn't whip me or verbally blackmail me like those scary families you hear about. I know that things might be different and maybe even better for me had things gone a little more my way in the past, so I don't blame myself entirely; because all is not lost. I don't think I'm a rebel. I'm still terrified of disapproval. I still care too much about being accepted. But I am my own person and that fact overshadows the rest. I simply can't bring myself to pretend otherwise. Life is too short to spend it struggling for things you might not even really want.
I hate myself for this but I'm actually quoting Cheryl Cole here 'If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for.' But Cheryl Cole is hot, I doubt she had to fight for anything...

The Plan

When 2010 begun I was all set to begin my stint in Bangalore, one step closer to the long journey to a PhD in Bioinformatics I thought.
When 2010 ended I had just finished my training period as a web content developer at my favorite radio station.
Quite a leap.
People's perceptions of these developments have been varied. As comfortable and at home I feel with what I'm doing I often find myself haunted by this nagging feeling of disapproval that the air is so thick of, especially at home.
Suffocated is what I am, with love, and with expectations. For once in my life I want to fly. I want the free spirit in me to be unleashed. For once.
I want to take my time, make mistakes; i want to know who I am, unbound by society's perceptions of me, unaffected by the expectations, and the dreams of others.
I want to stop doubting myself, stop trying to make things I don't really want, happen. I want to be me. I do wish that someday the people I love and who genuinely want the best from me realize that even I want the best for me. I'm not completely self destructive.
That's my plan.
Happy New Year